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Santa Claus arrested in London
After a lengthy stay in Ecuador’s embassy in London, Santa Claus has finally been detained by UK police in a dramatic show of anti-Christmas cheer.
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World Cup texts England, says they won’t be home any time soon
The World Cup sent England a text message containing words that every parent dreads: “Staying at a mate’s place tonight, won’t be coming home.” Unfortunately, England had prepared a nice meal and was looking forward to spending quality time with its nomadic child. “I’m a bit shocked, and quite melancholy,”
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BREAKING: Boris Johnson resigns after hearing UK PM’s game plan for Belgium
Troubles within England’s coaching staff have come to a head this evening as the team’s Assistant Manager Boris Johnson announced his resignation, according to lesser known news outlets. The team’s Manager, Theresa May, has infuriated football fans and coaches throughout the United Kingdom by announcing a soft strategy for tackling