World Cup texts England, says they won’t be home any time soon

The World Cup sent England a text message containing words that every parent dreads: “Staying at a mate’s place tonight, won’t be coming home.”

Unfortunately, England had prepared a nice meal and was looking forward to spending quality time with its nomadic child. “I’m a bit shocked, and quite melancholy,” England said this morning. “I’d been waiting so long to see the World Cup again. They don’t even call. You’d think, as the father of football, you would get at least a look-in every now and then.”

Excitement around the World Cup returning home was reaching a fever pitch, which is now replaced with disappointment for what could’ve been a loving reunion between England and its sporting contribution to the world.

“To say I got my hopes up is an understatement. But I suppose I’ll keep waiting. You get used to it.”

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