McDonald’s to phase out plastic cheese by 2020

In a widely celebrated move by environmentalists, McDonalds announced today that it will phase out single use plastic cheese from its burgers by 2020. The decision marks the fast food outlet’s first major move in the War on Waste, encompassing the campaign against single use plastics.

Lesser known news sources reported on the fast food giant ditching plastic straws, but it is the removal of the rubbery ‘dairy’ product that has gained the praise of environmentalists.

“It’s vile stuff,” according to environmental scientist and Katoomba local, Teresa Green. “Not only does plastic cheese taste awful, but it just sticks around forever. Banning this garbage is a great move by Maccas and the environment will benefit heaps.”

Single use plastic cheese is thought to be the primary cause of clogged sewers, after it has passed from the bowels of hungover university students. “It takes hundreds of years for it to break down,” Ms Green said. “And people just flush it down the toilet! It’d be less damaging if they threw plastic bags at a pack of turtles.”

McDonalds explained that the move is a part of good corporate citizenship. “We are committed to phasing out single use plastics from our menu,” a spokesman said. “And we will be reaffirming our commitment to renewable options. Most of our food is made from cardboard, anyway.”

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