Post-polling analysis has shown that the primary reason for the Liberal Party’s defeat in the five by-elections was due to a spectacular own goal: the Prime Minister didn’t eat a sausage sandwich on polling day.
Malcolm Turnbull has received fierce backlash in the wake of the weekend’s by-elections, after it was revealed he opted to eat a meat pie instead of the prescribed Democracy Sausage Sandwich typically prepared at polling booths.
To further cement the Liberals’ defeat in 5 electorates, the PM brandished a knife and fork and ate the pie using cutlery.
“Democracy sausages have an important role in the nation’s legal system,” a spokesman for the Australian Electoral Commission said in a statement. “Votes without tomato sauce smudges or pieces of onion stuck to them are instantly considered informal and not counted.”
Barry Sterr QC, a constitutional law expert from Wentworth Falls, believes the Prime Minister’s culinary choice, although legal, may present a dilemma should it be challenged in the High Court.
“The constitution doesn’t forbid it [eating a pie instead of a snag on polling day] and Parliament can’t dismiss him for it, but the Governor General really should consider his options in this case,” Mr Sterr told the Babbler whilst consuming a perfectly assembled sausage sandwich.
Barry Emkwik, a Glenbrook grave digger whose second cousin once-removed is a Longman constituent, was shocked when he learnt that Mr Turnbull avoided the humble barbecued snag.
“F*** me, that’s just wrong,” Mr Emkwik exclaimed. “He should be referred to the High Court for this [eating a meat pie with cutlery]. I mean, what sort of psychopath does that?”
The Mountain Babbler was unable to obtain a comment from the Prime Minister, as he was getting ready to eat a Tim Tam with his trusted knife and fork.