BREAKING: Boris Johnson resigns after hearing UK PM’s game plan for Belgium

Troubles within England’s coaching staff have come to a head this evening as the team’s Assistant Manager Boris Johnson announced his resignation, according to lesser known news outlets.

The team’s Manager, Theresa May, has infuriated football fans and coaches throughout the United Kingdom by announcing a soft strategy for tackling Belgium, resulting in key departures from senior coaching positions. A challenge for the Manager’s role is considered likely by football insiders.

The first of the assistant managers to go was David Davis, noting that the Manager does not need a ‘reluctant conscript’ in her lineup. Of particular concern was the “common rule book” proposed by May, which Davis believes will give Brussels too much control over England’s style of play.

Johnson was seen whistling a tune to himself as he followed Davis out of the Manager’s office, kicking tufts of grass as he casually strolled along the pitch towards the locker room.

“It’s coming home,” was all that Johnson would say to the Babbler’s UK correspondent. “It’s coming home.”


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