Month: July 2018

Liberal slice of the vote pie dwarfed by PM’s polling day pie

Post-polling analysis has shown that the primary reason for the Liberal Party’s defeat in the five by-elections was due to a spectacular own goal: the Prime Minister didn’t eat a sausage sandwich on polling day. Malcolm Turnbull has received fierce backlash in the wake of the weekend’s by-elections, after it

Hashtag campaign to support alleged workplace bully

In a tremendous display of bravery and solidarity, a hashtag has been started in support of Emma Husar, the federal MP at the centre of workplace bullying claims. #putyourdishesoutforemma has been started by Ellis Dee, a union organiser and ardent supporter of any female left wing politician regardless of their

Lindsay MP denies removing muffler from Comcar

Beleagured Labor MP Emma Husar has today been forced to defend a modification to a Comcar vehicle, which resulted in the Holden Caprice losing its muffler. The revelation accompanies claims that the federal politician has used the vehicle to travel to personal appointments, billing taxpayers in the process. “I am

Council praises failed court proceedings, makes charitable donation to lawyers

Earlier today, Blue Mountains City Council dropped the court case against the NSW Government, according to parody news site Blue Mountains Gazette. The failed legal action marks the end of another generous cash-injection from Council into struggling communities, such as barristers and close friends of senior Council staff. “This $1.2

World Cup texts England, says they won’t be home any time soon

The World Cup sent England a text message containing words that every parent dreads: “Staying at a mate’s place tonight, won’t be coming home.” Unfortunately, England had prepared a nice meal and was looking forward to spending quality time with its nomadic child. “I’m a bit shocked, and quite melancholy,”

City slicker watching Russell Coight now knows how much water to take into the outback

While sitting in his beachside apartment in the lower North Shore, a young finance employee received the most useful piece of advice he will ever receive: how much water to take on a trip to the outback. Harry Stockressy, the son of a prominent businessman, was recently converted to the

BREAKING: Boris Johnson resigns after hearing UK PM’s game plan for Belgium

Troubles within England’s coaching staff have come to a head this evening as the team’s Assistant Manager Boris Johnson announced his resignation, according to lesser known news outlets. The team’s Manager, Theresa May, has infuriated football fans and coaches throughout the United Kingdom by announcing a soft strategy for tackling